Feeling much better...

Today I woke up feeling about a 3 or 4 on the sick scale. Had an off again on again headache most of the day, thanks to Motrin I am feeling better. No nausea today, which was a nice surprise!

Yesterday & today I ate all 3 meals with "regular" food, trying to get myself back to normal...or whatever that feels like. Just sticking with a low calorie diet, and I am thinking tomorrow or at least by Friday I should be back feel speed ahead.

During this time I am trying to figure out why I eat or why I turned to food as comfort. Food has always been my companion when I feel sad, happy, alone, or all of the above. When I get mad, I just want to eat everything in sight. When I am sad, I crave comfort food...reminds me of home.

My mom & I laughed tonight as an information packet I had requested a few weeks back came in the mail today. Thank God it did not come last week when I was having my breakdown. It is about pre-planning your funeral. *I know people think I am crazy sometimes, but its not my funeral I am planning* As most of you know my dad has been in poor health over the years and does not seem to be getting better. Him & I have discussed over the past few years what he would like to have done, and what I would like to see happen when that time comes. Well, now that I am telling him the cost of things he is getting really "short" with me and telling me to just cremate him and put him in cookie jar! He told me to just look at the bottom of the Dallas Morning News for "those cheap funeral homes" and have them take care of it. I told him that I am not calling Jim Bob's Crematorium & asking what the daily special is!!! I keep telling him, this is not about him. Its about what my sister & I are going to want to remember...not that Daddy picked out the nicest cardboard box!!

In the past I would have shut down & turned to food to comfort me during this time. Tonight, I have not turned to food for comfort...I came here instead. I have to figure out a way to deal with my emotions without turning to food for the answer. Last week when I was at my lowest I went and got my nails done to get my mind off things. I wonder what other people do to get there mind off their problems & not turn to food.

I cant wait to get back on the diet full time again...this time without the meltdown!

Night Night for now...